The Mom Jeans skit from SNL definitely shows us how to be the perfect mom. A sense of humor and a pair of mom jeans (that accentuate the fupa) are critical to surviving the job of raising little people, am I right?
I had the opportunity to sit down with The Perfect Mom on Mother’s Day. I asked her how she does motherhood so well. Here’s what she told me:
1. “Be honest with yourself.”
“One of the biggest issues we face as moms is that we tend to neglect ourselves and our desires to a point where we fall apart. The constant pushing away of our needs creates an imbalance. We get down, feel overwhelmed, and under appreciated. We take out our aggression on the people we need most in such a challenging and delicate time of life. But mostly, we take the aggression out on ourselves. It can be a vicious cycle. Our job as women, and especially as moms, is to support one another in being honest with ourselves and taking action. Whether it’s asking for help, or saying no, many of us need to meet our sirens head on.”
2. “Accept the new normals that come along.”
“I think back to when I cleaned the house (and myself) regularly. My husband and I took naps when we wanted, went on little getaways, and certain areas of my body were more in tact and looked linear. Yeah, those were good times, but these are good times too. They’re just different, and in many ways, they are richer. We’ll look back at this and say how simple everything was. It’s just human nature to do that. We have to roll with the punches, find the good, and remember that right now is always the best. It’s all we have. ”
3. “Feed your children in a way that preserves everyone’s health, happiness, and sanity.”
“Feeding brings on a lot of stress for moms. The bottom line is that we are individuals. The statement of ‘fed is best’ is true. Thank God we live in a time with so many options for feeding babies and kids, because we live in a time with so many challenges within our food. For the baby, there’s the allergies and sensitivities. For the mom, there’s the complications that can come with breastfeeding or bottles. Feeling tortured, or even resentful because of how we’re feeding our children means it’s time to look for an alternative. It’s not always a matter of following a guide or an expert, but trusting our feelings and knowing our limits. Speaking of which…”
4. “Act on your gut feelings.”
(I can attest to this tip from The Perfect Mom. I have read the stories over and over again. I’ve had clients tell me, and I’ve experienced it for myself. So many women, and especially moms, thank God that they followed their gut feeling in a critical situation that dealt with their child’s health or their own health.)
She goes on to say, “The feelings we get happen for a reason; they are born out of protection. I don’t care if it’s vaccines, medication, test results, or an explanation from a professional. If something doesn’t sit right with you in regard to your own child, then you need to act on that. Don’t suppress that feeling. You know your child, and even the experts sometimes make mistakes.”
5. “A Sense of humor is the ultimate weapon against insanity.”
“How can you really be serious about anything as a mom when you come to the moment of wearing a diaper while changing someone else’s?” Things we see as a problem or a mess, are typically exaggerated in our minds (and some of the best stories). We tend to think into things too much, and it’s especially true with our kids. It also applies to our partners. With guys, what other species has the ability to look at something, right in front of them on a shelf, and not see it? Ok, that might make you angry. Moving on to number 6…..”
6. “You do you…seriously.”
“The great thing about living in this era is that we have so much information at our fingertips. That’s also the worst thing about living in this era. Knowing every little detail of what others are doing, or seeing the latest and greatest of what you should be doing for your kid’s birthday can suck the joy out of you if you let it. Check in with yourself, and stay true to what feels right to you. Sometimes this requires you to unplug, which can solve a lot of things in itself.”
7. “At the end of the day, it’s about being satisfied in your decisions.”
The Perfect Mom has to carve her own path from time to time. “Sometimes I sit things out, and other times, I’m the only one participating. What I’m doing isn’t always popular, but it’s my choice.” The Perfect Mom takes comfort in following her inner-compass, because when she does, she’s found her peace.
8. “You’re the perfect mom.”
“You’re perfect because you come from a place of love and concern. Even if you feel like you’re losing it, you’re losing it because you care so much. You have been chosen to lead the little ones who are under your care. As a mother, your only concern is to be true to yourself and be true to them. By following your heart, and trusting your intuition, you teach your kids that they hold the keys to their happiness and wellbeing.”
I would agree with her. Empowering our kids is more important than ever. Children need to learn to trust their feelings, and so do we. We are overloaded with information, and so are they. As moms, we research and collect answers from outside sources, but what about looking within for answers? We need to do it ourselves, and then teach it to our kids.
So, you have everything you need, and so do your kids. They have you.
Leave a Reply