2017: Sending Off The Year

So, there’s like four minutes until New Year’s. Oh well, here it goes!

2017, Another Year of Many Lessons

Tonight, I needed some fresh air. I’ve been cooped up in the house with a cold, and my family has been under the weather. I put on my boots and coat, and went out into the yard. The cold air felt amazing, and when I looked up, I saw that beautiful full moon. All the darkness around, and there’s that light. As I stared at the sky, that’s what hit me. This year has been an unforgettable mix of highs and lows, joys and devastations. It’s been a constant challenge of not letting darkness win. I’ve managed to find a light when I need one. There’s been something to guide me. Is it luck, or do I choose to see one? I honestly think it’s the latter.

Happiness is a choice. Survival is a choice. Your will is there, or it's not. It's just that simple.Click To Tweet

December and Ever After: Because Life Will Always Be Tough

For this last month of the year, I had intentions of writing a lot more than I did. It didn’t happen. I could have forced it, but that never feels right. Between unexpected and tragic death of a family member, troubles in a particular project with my husband, the usual business of Christmas preparations, and then illness to top it off, I’ve been in survival mode since Christmas day. I’ve also found myself in some really negative places. The only way to make it through is to activate my gratitude sensors to full throttle. That’s what I’ve had to do. Like that beautiful moon that’s approaching its fullest state in twelve minutes, I’ve looked at the smiling face of my baby girl or my little boy for that light. They give me hope, and they give me purpose to keep trudging through the mud. When he’s here and not busting his ass, it’s my husband who gives me the warmth and determination I need when I’m low. We all have problems in varying degrees. The key to getting through them is to have something to believe in and someone to hold onto.

The Best Part of the Year

I will never forget laying in my bed at Mercy Hospital in Pittsburgh, and having that smell of fuel in my nose as the helicopters landed and took off from the pad that was right near my room. Adrenaline rushed through me, and I couldn’t sleep. It was the early morning of July 14th, and I had just had my daughter, Celia. My brain was saying to sleep, but my body was like, “Holy….you just….they told you….and you had a VBAC! Let’s party!”

Over four years ago, my son brought me through from one side of myself to the other. He introduced me to motherhood. He will always have his special place as my first, my baby who “always did”, and the one who’s heart is so deep. My daughter came this year, and she’s the fiery one. She’s loud, she’s talking already (you know what I mean, baby talk), she yells at me (you know what I mean, baby yelling), and she told “them” off. My daughter proved everything wrong. She defied odds, and she’s this year’s light and power that’s pulled everything together. When people ask me how I know if I healed, I just tell them about her. I was told I’d have great difficulty getting pregnant again. I would “definitely need” hormonal interventions. Then, there was the doctor who told me, (long before I found the right birth provider) “You have a narrow pelvis, so vaginal birth will be very difficult for you. Let’s just plan on repeat cesarean.” After my midwife delivered my daughter, we talked about that one…again. It simply wasn’t true.

This Year, Don’t Believe What You’re Told

For those of you who read this, do me a favor. Add this to your New Year’s resolutions, or if you’re like me, put it on the radar and consider it for your resolutions that you might make later. Ready? Repeat after me.

“I will not believe everything I am told. Instead, I will believe what my heart tells me. I will follow my gut feelings, and do what I know is right. I know the truth because I can feel it. When I’ve taken a detour from being true to myself, I feel it.”

So, whether you’ve been told something by someone, (who maybe wears an official uniform and is a bit cocky) or even a voice in your head is saying something you know isn’t true, please prove it wrong. Please follow your heart. There are so many people wanting to support you in this world, and one of them is me.

Happy New Year.

Love,

Lindsay