Moms Need Playdates

Let’s Talk About Playdates With the Kids First

We were sitting on the couch with our kids. I looked over a few little heads to my good friend of 20 years or more. “Just think how we used to sit on the couch as kids like this,” I said. “Yeah, and now we’re sitting here with a pile of kids on us,” my friend said through her smile. We were enjoying the calm as the little ones were munching on Goldfish and watching Pharrell Williams sing Happy. I melted into the couch with my daughter asleep on my chest. The comfort hit me. Getting together with another mom, especially a long-time friend, and sharing the experience of raising little people is a great thing. Moms need playdates with the kids, and here’s why.

Playdates Provide an Opportunity to Practice Fast Talking and Lip Reading

Like two veterans sharing battle stories and scars, we exchange notes (and physical marks) from our pregnancies, births, and raising our babies. As opposed to a normal-paced conversation, talking to another mom during a playdate is kind of like being on Chopped. You try to cram in as much quality conversation as you possibly can in a very small amount of time. The intensity is real. You just don’t know how long you have. Everything could fall apart at any minute, so you talk as fast as possible, while being sure to spit out everything that you’ve been dying to say to an adult. 

As this rapid-fire conversation is taking place, you are also spelling out swear words, bad words, scary words, or anything else that the kids shouldn’t hear. When you’re getting really sick of spelling, then you try mouthing the words. This leads to having to use your horrible eyesight for lip reading. (Our eyesight is horrible because having a baby just makes you unable to see or hear for a while. I think it’s just the constant sucking of nutrients, sleep, and sanity.) So then, you’re squinting and bobbing your head back and forth as you try to dodge an obstructed view of each other’s mouths. All the while, small heads are running back and forth. This is great brain exercise. We need this.

Playdates Provide an Opportunity to Practice Navigating Conversational Tangents

You start telling your friend a story about the baby pooping all through their infant seat, which then leads to a tangent about how to decipher baby poop, which then leads to a tangent from that tangent about a dairy allergy, which then leads to a third degree tangent about how great coconut cream is in coffee, which then leads to a fourth degree tangent on climate change because there’s going to be a serious coffee shortage in the near future. Either one mom is continually trying to reel it back into the original story, or you just give up and enjoy the scenic route of conversation. We took the scenic route today, and we were all over the place. It was very relaxing.

Playdates Give Us That Warm Fuzzy Feeling That We Are Not Alone

Playdates with the kids are healthy because they create a much needed feeling of knowing you are not alone. Feeling guilty, feeling tired, losing patience, losing time, and everything in between are happening in the lives of millions of moms all over the world. We need to be reminded that we are not crazy, and that we are not alone in our irrational fears or daydreams about having more time to ourselves. Talking to another mom face to face about this stuff is very reassuring. Playdates are the context for creating that human connection we need to thrive as moms. 

Playdates Take the Pressure Off

For me, playdates with my friends and their kids are a much needed change of pace. It’s great for moms to get a little break, and to let the kids entertain each other. It’s also great for the kids because they get a change in their social interaction, play with different stuff, and have a change of scenery.

What About the Playdates WITHOUT the Kids?

The number one issue I see in health coaching is that women continually put themselves LAST. This is not a form of heroism; it’s a form of self destruction. Motherhood is demanding, which is exactly why we NEED playdates with our adult friends. How can you make it happen?

1. Plan it in advance, and ask your spouse to put it on their calendar. Offer to do this for each other, and take turns having time with friends. You give me time-outs, then I’ll give you time-outs.
2. Get your friends on a group text, or create a Facebook event. Nail down the date! If people start dropping like flies in the days or hours leading up to it, then go anyway. Even if it just you and one other person, go!
3. Take pictures and show everyone what a great night it was. If people pooped out because they just didn’t want to leave the house, show them it was worth it. This will hopefully encourage them to join in next time. Then again….
4. You don’t have to leave the house. Tell everyone to leave their sweats on, skip a shower, and just come over with a snack or bottle of wine. Keep it extremely low-key, and focus on the act of getting together, catching up, and having some good laughs. Rotate who hosts, and you may never actually go out. Who cares. Getting together is what matters!
5. If you have a spouse who travels for work or works turns, then find a grandparent, relative, or reliable sitter. If you have to pay someone to watch your kids for a couple hours, it’s worth it.

Hey Mom, Do You Feel Run Down? I Can Help.

As an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, I serve women in regaining their energy and improving their overall health. If you are in need of a reset, then please check out my coaching services and free resources for advice and tips on being the best version of you. As slow and gradual as it is for illness to develop, the same is true for natural healing. It does take time, but with consistent, pointed action, it can happen. I have experienced it for myself, and I wouldn’t be here doing what I’m doing if that wasn’t the case!